Monday, October 31, 2011

stuff nightmares are made of

so, first and foremost, happy halloween people.

secondly, and way more awesome, miss Hana came down from Glasgow on the hillbilly bus to spend Saturday night with yours truly. Perfect timing, seeing as my other favourite person had swanned off to Norway. *sob*

So we got dressed up at the studio as soon as she arrived, well.... we drank a bottle of wine, then got dressed up. well, i drank most of the bottle of wine, she got dressed up, and i spent a minute adding some accessories to my clothing to miraculously turn me into a pilot. (tucking in trousers to socks seems to be a great aid). we actually timed my transformation. took me less than a minute. skill. funny thing is, when Simon met us in the pub, he was like "wow, you've really gone all out" and i said... "umm, i own everything i'm wearing except the jacket. this is my regular wardrobe." then he said something terrible. he said "what?! even those shoes?!" (they are my favourite shoes. i almost cried a little)

so here we are....

hana's gown had some sort of odd titty-access lack of stitching deal. we're not sure. either it was designed by a very impatient man, or it's for breastfeeding. we'll never know, it's one of life's greatest mysteries. she sewed it up on the way down, otherwise she would have flashed the world, what with all the spinning she was doing that night.

twas a good night. we both got very merry, and whilst she and her 2 friends who were down too danced the night away, i got bought drinks by a man who was very.... odd. he had a cool hat though. it is hard to have a half decent conversation with someone when every other sentence they blurt out "kiss me".... 
(thanks for the constant check up's and rescue offering services u provided hana)

Eddy Gomez quickly became our hero. although the guy behind hana to the left, he's rivalling that title. i don't have his contact details though, so no way of letting him know he's even in the running. so eddy it is. shame on you eddy, for not joining us for a sunday roast. shame        on           you. 

so Hana's friends vanished at some point after taking group photos of us sprawled out on the floor, me stealing some guys massive bone that was hanging out of his flies, and us finding a pumpkin i was convinced looked like a monkey....

we also spent a good 10 mins trying to wait for a good shot of this complete strangers silhouette.... well, i spent a good 10 mins. Hana was patient and kind enough to act interested. hahaha

was so worth it though, coz out on the terrace me n Hana became mesmerised with the winch / pulley system operating across the courtyard. fascinating stuff really. guess u had to be there.

i'll finish off that nights photos with a pic of me n Hana taken in the bathroom mirror at the venue.

she was smiling. shame u can see her though.

So, next morning.... we decided to dress milo up in the witches costume my mate eric bought for me. on the package, it said it 'fitted most dogs, and cats too'. we joked around that it probably had some magic adaptability to actually fit most mammals in general. we were right.

i think we must have spent far too much time on the floor laughing our asses off, because next thing i knew, we were running late for our roast. doom. meant we couldn't pick up a banana man smoothie on the way to the tube. i almost cried. in fact.... the amount of time i stood deciding whether i had enough time to cross the road and get the damn smoothie, i probably had ample time. 

oh, and some got taken up by milo meeting this little cutie.... (no, she's not wearing a tutu as Simon thought)

i also wasted a little time following this old lady down the road, waiting for traffic to clear so i could get a good photo....

the roast made up for the lack of smoothie. it was awesome, and even though eddy gomez didn't make it, our good buddy Simon did.

after the roast, we retreated to the rooftop shack we all now want to live in. it rocked, and with simon's iPod playing Supersuckers at a very high volume, all seemed right in the world. in that room. cut off from everything except the puddle of vomit in the corner that i'm guessing was left from the night before.

that family portrait took about 5 goes coz we couldn't stop pissing ourselves enough to keep a straight face.

even my shoes, socks and trousers looked so damn good against the couch. 

so as time ticked away in our little solitude den and after me giving a brief lecture on Ganesh and trademarked food products.... we eventually had to leave, coz i had seen a fox in my favourite taxidermy emporium recently, and i couldn't get his little face out of my head. 

when we arrived, we rushed upstairs, and the spot where he stood so proudly..... was empty! HE WAS GONE! to a home that wouldn't love him nearly as much as I. i was devastated, my head bowed, we stood in silence. I could feel Hana's pain for me. I raised my head, in the understanding that not much has gone right for me recently, and as my gaze drifted... there he was, across the room. smiling. 

So Rooster the fox came home with me. but first, Simon insisted we stop off at the Mixer, and as I had already mentioned the amazing fox with the amazing grin the the guys behind the bar, it took all of 5 seconds for them to find gaffe tape and bags for me to re-wrap him in. they were keen.

once home, i couldn't resist this shot....

so me hana n simon vegged out, ordered pizza and were unsuccessful paying with scottish notes. we ended up watching this  which was anything but scary, or good, and was about fairy folk. what the fuck. 

then we watched this  which was so dire it was fucking AMAZING! so quotable too. 

here's a few:
-you look like you've been molested by wolves

-about as fun as a bag full of dicks

Misty: Are you sure the number is 911?
Jenna: What else would it be, dumbass?
Misty: Well how should I know if it's the cell, maybe you have to type in a different area code. 

so, Hana left, but she'll be back they always come back.....
(sorry thats a quote from the shit film with the fairy folk. couldn't resist)

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