Monday, October 31, 2011

stuff nightmares are made of

so, first and foremost, happy halloween people.

secondly, and way more awesome, miss Hana came down from Glasgow on the hillbilly bus to spend Saturday night with yours truly. Perfect timing, seeing as my other favourite person had swanned off to Norway. *sob*

So we got dressed up at the studio as soon as she arrived, well.... we drank a bottle of wine, then got dressed up. well, i drank most of the bottle of wine, she got dressed up, and i spent a minute adding some accessories to my clothing to miraculously turn me into a pilot. (tucking in trousers to socks seems to be a great aid). we actually timed my transformation. took me less than a minute. skill. funny thing is, when Simon met us in the pub, he was like "wow, you've really gone all out" and i said... "umm, i own everything i'm wearing except the jacket. this is my regular wardrobe." then he said something terrible. he said "what?! even those shoes?!" (they are my favourite shoes. i almost cried a little)

so here we are....

hana's gown had some sort of odd titty-access lack of stitching deal. we're not sure. either it was designed by a very impatient man, or it's for breastfeeding. we'll never know, it's one of life's greatest mysteries. she sewed it up on the way down, otherwise she would have flashed the world, what with all the spinning she was doing that night.

twas a good night. we both got very merry, and whilst she and her 2 friends who were down too danced the night away, i got bought drinks by a man who was very.... odd. he had a cool hat though. it is hard to have a half decent conversation with someone when every other sentence they blurt out "kiss me".... 
(thanks for the constant check up's and rescue offering services u provided hana)

Eddy Gomez quickly became our hero. although the guy behind hana to the left, he's rivalling that title. i don't have his contact details though, so no way of letting him know he's even in the running. so eddy it is. shame on you eddy, for not joining us for a sunday roast. shame        on           you. 

so Hana's friends vanished at some point after taking group photos of us sprawled out on the floor, me stealing some guys massive bone that was hanging out of his flies, and us finding a pumpkin i was convinced looked like a monkey....

we also spent a good 10 mins trying to wait for a good shot of this complete strangers silhouette.... well, i spent a good 10 mins. Hana was patient and kind enough to act interested. hahaha

was so worth it though, coz out on the terrace me n Hana became mesmerised with the winch / pulley system operating across the courtyard. fascinating stuff really. guess u had to be there.

i'll finish off that nights photos with a pic of me n Hana taken in the bathroom mirror at the venue.

she was smiling. shame u can see her though.

So, next morning.... we decided to dress milo up in the witches costume my mate eric bought for me. on the package, it said it 'fitted most dogs, and cats too'. we joked around that it probably had some magic adaptability to actually fit most mammals in general. we were right.

i think we must have spent far too much time on the floor laughing our asses off, because next thing i knew, we were running late for our roast. doom. meant we couldn't pick up a banana man smoothie on the way to the tube. i almost cried. in fact.... the amount of time i stood deciding whether i had enough time to cross the road and get the damn smoothie, i probably had ample time. 

oh, and some got taken up by milo meeting this little cutie.... (no, she's not wearing a tutu as Simon thought)

i also wasted a little time following this old lady down the road, waiting for traffic to clear so i could get a good photo....

the roast made up for the lack of smoothie. it was awesome, and even though eddy gomez didn't make it, our good buddy Simon did.

after the roast, we retreated to the rooftop shack we all now want to live in. it rocked, and with simon's iPod playing Supersuckers at a very high volume, all seemed right in the world. in that room. cut off from everything except the puddle of vomit in the corner that i'm guessing was left from the night before.

that family portrait took about 5 goes coz we couldn't stop pissing ourselves enough to keep a straight face.

even my shoes, socks and trousers looked so damn good against the couch. 

so as time ticked away in our little solitude den and after me giving a brief lecture on Ganesh and trademarked food products.... we eventually had to leave, coz i had seen a fox in my favourite taxidermy emporium recently, and i couldn't get his little face out of my head. 

when we arrived, we rushed upstairs, and the spot where he stood so proudly..... was empty! HE WAS GONE! to a home that wouldn't love him nearly as much as I. i was devastated, my head bowed, we stood in silence. I could feel Hana's pain for me. I raised my head, in the understanding that not much has gone right for me recently, and as my gaze drifted... there he was, across the room. smiling. 

So Rooster the fox came home with me. but first, Simon insisted we stop off at the Mixer, and as I had already mentioned the amazing fox with the amazing grin the the guys behind the bar, it took all of 5 seconds for them to find gaffe tape and bags for me to re-wrap him in. they were keen.

once home, i couldn't resist this shot....

so me hana n simon vegged out, ordered pizza and were unsuccessful paying with scottish notes. we ended up watching this  which was anything but scary, or good, and was about fairy folk. what the fuck. 

then we watched this  which was so dire it was fucking AMAZING! so quotable too. 

here's a few:
-you look like you've been molested by wolves

-about as fun as a bag full of dicks

Misty: Are you sure the number is 911?
Jenna: What else would it be, dumbass?
Misty: Well how should I know if it's the cell, maybe you have to type in a different area code. 

so, Hana left, but she'll be back they always come back.....
(sorry thats a quote from the shit film with the fairy folk. couldn't resist)

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Julia 101

Though intelligence is powerless to modify character, it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms for its weaknesses.
Quentin Crisp 

so, better post some new work, seeing as it's been a fair while....

first up some... i suppose you'd call them 'inspirational quotes?!' (i'm not inspired or even sure i believe them, but there you go.) that's just me.

i don't believe everything happens for a reason at all. Maybe that's because i'm lacking in a belief of a Higher Power of sorts, or maybe it's because i'm lacking in a belief that happy endings occur, or maybe it's because i'm lacking in a belief that life is not an inconsequential coincidence dragged out over a matter of seemingly endless decades where we try to find meaning for stuff that in the end, just doesn't really matter. we are but blips... in time... in space... and utterly reasonless.

what will be will be. well, yes, but i am not a fan of the essence of this saying. what will be ... is what u make it. we have minds, choices, decisions we have been blessed with a brain. if i decide to go sit in a field all week wearing nothing but a top hat.... next week will be pretty damn different to if i decided to carry on going home, going to work, and being fully clothed. so what will be is just where we end up, which is basically dead, in the end.

now on a much brighter note.... the lovely Traycee came down from Ireland last week and got this super fun 1 shot. she sat like a rock, and was a trooper. She has @ beautiful sleeves by the late Jason Saga, and amazing work on her legs too, so i was a little nervous.... but i'm glad with how this turned out. woop woop.
can't wait to do more work on her, maybe the other side, but we are also in talks about some serial killer themed thigh work, which I AM AMPED ABOUT DOING!!!!! :D

cant wait. 

this weekend the lovely Miss Hana will be gracing my company, so if i were y'all, i'd expect my next post to be.... less work more play makes Julia's blog an interesting read to say the least.

sorry if this post seems a lil' bipolar. i'm a Capricorn....therefore i am capricious. 

Thursday, October 13, 2011

The past is short. The future is long

So, first up, a quick 1-shot i just did on a super easy going customer. he had some really beautiful work on his arms, and that always makes me a little nervous. it's much easier to do nice tattoos on people covered in crap i find! haha

anyways, he wanted an anchor, water, and a scroll with "bring her home" inside. and he wanted it traditional. hmmm. i'm not exactly a traditional sorta girl. or tattooer for that matter. i wasn't sure how to go about the linework. i'm just fond of single pass lines, and when i saw him flicking through my portfolio intently before his appointment, i kinda gave a sign of relief, coz he musta known what he was in for.... and this would still be more "traditional than anything in there.

still, when the time came for him to check it out in the mirror, i did get a bit nervous. well, til he turned around and said "it's awesome!"

as nice as it is to do a sweet romantic tattoo on a really nice customer, i couldn't help but think about how crap a lot of stuff has been recently for me and some of my closest friends. next year. next year had better be better!

in other news, i went to go see 3 friends do an acoustic night on tuesday @ The Mucky Pup after my penultimate (yeah! you read that right! woop woop) session on my backpiece. sore, and bloody, and tired, but it was a good night. some of y'all who know me from the land of Kong, or read my blog like a book will remember tim from this post... and the few posts preceding it.

here's an official video (i didnt even realise he'd made an official video.... it's all very official i tell ya.) of his....

also great to see Greg again. haven't seen him play for about 2 years, and nice to catch Oliver John Ward's set. (title credit to him for this post)

Last night i went to go see Nadja, Plurals, and some dude who i have no idea what his parents Christened him, what may be on his birth certificate, or what he goes by.... (he was my favourite set of the eve) typical. 

and just spotted THIS last night! gonna get me some golden tickets for that one i tell ya! so excited!

Monday, October 3, 2011

the oracle, queen laqueefa, and charlotsalovin'

holy macaroni faces on paper plates. what a weekend.
the lovely miss hana came back down from glasgow. for one night only, like a rockstar. she brought along charlotte who i'd heard a lot about but never met. i now know she's real. true story. (i was starting to wonder.....) haha

but 1st up.... look at my amazing friday night purchase....

yes. i bought david hasslehoff's head and paid to have it surgically attached. 

so anyways, back to hana n charlotte.  they rolled into the shop sat night, with a bag full of beer that was warmer than was scientifically possible, and a bottle of pink champagne that had somehow turned into mulled wine (it's been hot these past few days, and they got the bus all the way down the country....).
mulled wine is now a nemesis of mine. it tried to blow my head off. luckily i have ninja skills , and it flew outta the door. crazy though. i swear my life flashed before my eyes.

hana and i exchanged gifts....

she got me this.... which is quite possibly the coolest thing ever.

so we went to this rockabilly gig in some weird crypt thing.... 

it was quite a mission to get there. the tubes were all outta whack.... which in turn made us all outta whack.... but we made it in the end. hana did the twist on stage.... good on her. the spastic awesome guy won tho. he deserved it.

in the disabled toilet, we found a lever.... we dont know what it did. i mighta inadvertently started WW3....

we also kidnapped a baby.... we named her "susie seizure". her head fell off. 

charlotte tried her best to reattach her head...

to no avail....

it took us forever to get back to my flat, and some dude shat his pants on the bus and then proceeded to vomit everywhere. it was quite a spectacle.

once we got back to my flat, we attempted to lay my sofa bed flat (i've never had the need before. i seem to be a 1 house guest at a time kinda gal.... til now.) it went terribly, charlotte headbutted hana's shoulder and gave herself a black eye.... and broke her kickass specs (i'm sorry, i'm laughing outloud as i type this......) so they spooned. 

the next day we went on a wonder with milo, and i discovered this massive recreation park like RIGHT NEXT TO MY FLAT!

madness i tell ya! 

there's a bowls lawn, a cafe, a playground, and a pond that seems to be filled with mushy peas ?!

it was right about this point when charlotte went "awwwwww look, there's a squirrel!"..... "OH WAIT?! IT'S a RAT!" bahahaha. genius.

so then we went to the smoothie/shake emporium down the road from my house....

the man behind the counter was a little.... well a lot fascinated by us. 

man: "are you girls in a band?"
us :'no'
man:"why not?!"
hana:'because we have no talent.'
man *disappointed*: "ohhh"

haha. genius. that place is so full of win it's unreal.

so then onwards to kentish town where we got the roast we'd been so looking forward to. it was kinda disappointing. oh well, at least i witnessed charlotte put away the largest portion known to man. gold star.

then on to the taxidermy haven...

that has to be the most confused badger ever. 

they have a new fox that i totally fell in love with too. so awesome. oh, and they had a fox with "titties' as the man in the shop kept repeating in a .... i think it was a french accent.... 
that guy's rad, and he has candy. he always wants to stuff my dog whenever i go in there with him though, which i find a little disturbing. this isn't from yesterday, this is from hanas last visit where she bought the cup he was drinking out of (true story)

so then *sob* it was time for the lovely ladies to trot back off to the hillbilly bus all the way back up to glasgow. on the way we did a little tongue examining....


but not as amazing as this guys shoes.....

the end.