Saturday, May 21, 2011

death by decay of human nature

so..... where do i start?!

yesterday me n my beloved partner in crime went on the ghost tour of high barnet, which for those of u who don't know.... is where i currently reside. I was a little dubious they'd end up stopping at my house and coming out with all sorts of dastardly tales and guess what?! they did. must be that 6th sense of mine.

anyways, here's some photo factual reference of the awesomeness that was had.....

yup, that'll be us lagging behind. at the beginning of the tour, the guide came out with the cheesiest safety talk ever. it went something like this:

"i want you to know you are responsible for your own safety. when we come to a road..... i will be crossing over first.... but don't worry.... i'll be waiting *insert epic pause* on the other side!" wow. me n kez knew we were in for a treat, despite the rest of the group being ... well..... numpties.

david livingstone's old gaff. no ghosts, but figured it was a kodak moment regardless.....

it was a very nice scenic walk once we entered Monken Hadley, which is apparently the 2nd most haunted village in England. 

despite the most unfortunate name i've heard since "sandy poon", mrs trollope's daughter died at 18 and is said to haunt not 1 but 2 sites around the village.

this church is said to be haunted by a nun in grey.... and had a kick ass cemetery...

the church was built in 1494. unfortunately this pic is kinda blurry, but if u click to enlarge, u might be able to make out the "half 8's" which were used as 4's back then. weird and wonderful.

the cemetery had a nice selection of anthropomorphic graves....

and it had the "pirates grave" (he wasn't a pirate)

but u can just about make out the skull n crossbones on the headstone. incidentally, pirates adopted this symbol from the Christians to represent to ability to bring deceased comrades back to life. the skull, coz they need the brain, and the crossed bones are the femurs so the dead dude can walk about.

anyways, the guide was saying that if u walk anti-clockwise around this grave 3 times, then knock, it will knock back. hmmmmm?!

so ending the walk in a huge park, and hearing weird tales of battles, buried riches, some moat close by that gets frequented at pagan festivals where u cut ur clothes up and tie them to some tree.... the group dispersed. 

me n kez headed straight back to the graveyard. of course. 

 first port of call now it was nice n dark n creepy was to take some creepy photos. 

i think this is pretty ghostly....

kerry's photography on the other hand..... definitely more ghastly than ghostly. maybe that's just my face. who knows.....

so after that, we went to the pirates grave to do the deed. we circled, arm in arm, and kerry refused to knock.... so i did.

and about 2 seconds later we heard this creepy tap, and all the trees started rustling, so like a bunch of school girls we fucking legged it. i have to say how impressed i am we didn't trip over any of the kids graves, coz there were a lot of them, all precariously sticking a few inches outta the ground. 

10 points for maneuvering
-10 for bravery.

super awesome night. good times.

oh god, and before i sign off, y'all need to hear about the quote of the evening. so the guide is telling us about some Friar who turned evil and got into alchemy n shit. 

guide: "he was a terrible man, horrible to his wife, and frequented at satanic orgies"
woman: (to husband stood next to her) "urgh! sounds like you!'


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